hushnowheart

Good, better, best, never let it rest… But I was never even better than good at my best. I could never sever the good from the better Or weather the struggle, the scramble that left me in shambles. You think it's easy to have to make do when you're screwed? To go around ordering because you've got nothing left Save the breath that rips at your throat when it leaves, When you don't know whether to sing or to scream? It's easy to cry "best" when they don't have to try They've never cried for the sheer sake of feeling alive. I have scratched my skin red and roared my voice raw, And it's all just a flaw to you.

It shouldn't hurt this much. But I made you grin like a kindergartener and she puts a smile of serenity on your face. With me you were on top maybe not of the world, but at least of that jungle gym our fingers freezing and melding together but not our lips. With her you're laid out flat on your back in the grass with ribs aching from laughter and lips warmed by her fire. I am only water, love. I cannot light your candle, only soothe the burn.

I swallow your words like medicine, the gluey kind that seals up your throat and makes you want water right after. They harden in my chest rattling around my ribcage like a set of old keys rusted with regret. So I wait for the days they soften and crystallize sprout wings and flutter at the sound of another.

Today is about falling. More than once, you almost do. Veering into me like a derailed engine, laughter bursting out of you. I stand four feet from the ground and hold my arms out to fly, and you tell me to let myself go—you'll catch me. I chuckle that I don't believe you, but it isn't a joke to me. I've landed face-first on concrete before, and it was your fault that time, too. A crowd only accentuates the way a metro car sends me off-balance. I hold onto the shoulder loop of your coat and think it's enough; but you anchor yourself with a hand cupping my waist. Your fingers tighten each time the car sway, and I think I'll fall from the sh

You act like spring. You laugh blossoms and smile grassy wind Tell me you'd love my company as if we were picnicking. I can tuck the flower of your love behind my ear. But when I reach for it my fingers ache my skin cracks my bones splinter And I realize though your eyes are warm your hands chill and freeze. You are winter Don't pretend otherwise.

Even though I've never Crossed the threshold of your lips The light on in your eyes tells me Your kiss would be a homecoming.

Hands that warm the coldest bruises Eyes that burn with lantern-light. Shining, fading Colors changing Full of glee, but free of spite. Lead me down a twilit road Charm me blind, will o' the wisp Pull me under Show me wonders All my trust trapped in your fist. Waiting for my spark to catch I missed your candle burning low. Darkness falls Still yearning calls Light-love of mine, where did you go?

City rain is different, you know. From alleyways to rivers, fluorescent to pearlescent; lamplight becomes starlight (if you look hard enough) and fairies say goodnight on shimmering pavement. I don't need eight black spokes above my head; your giggles rough, unshaven cheek the ruddy glow of your eyes have already soaked me through.

Your words drop like leaves, flaming as they fall. Gentle but brilliant Sharp, can't take my eyes off them. Or my ears, in your case. Melancholy autumn With her clairvoyant chill But for me, it's already set in. What you say is cold fire Licking my bones clean. All I can hope for Is that honeyed sunlight Will wash away the cold.